Also, I think for the sake of all my faithful readers, Wednesday is a good day to write about the beginning of my week. My four hours at school has put me in a much more cheerful mood which is bound to result in an optimistic spin on the hardships I've faced these couple of days. School was good today. I found myself dreading the two hours of math that awaited me this lovely morning, but those two hours were surprisingly comforting. Math is a bit easier to understand than some of my other subjects here because it's primarily numbers. I was happy to find that what we covered today was something that I've already learned and remembered. In fact, I'm quite sure that everything I'll do this year in math is something that I've already covered; now, it's just a matter of remembering. Hopefully, I'll be able to think back to my days of Mrs. Llew screaming "Oh my stars!" and remember what math lesson had gotten her so excited for the hour. After math I had French and ended with physics/chemistry (we're starting with chemistry though). Overall, a good morning.
School is difficult though. I'd love to sugar-coat things, but since the hard times are just as important in this process I have to be honest. Monday and Tuesday were very trying. I found myself craving the familiar. I wanted my home, my family, my friends, my English! Scattered throughout those days I felt that pang of homesickness that tends to arise more frequently when I'm in a not-so-fun situation. Of course I'm so grateful to be here and would not forsake this opportunity for anything, but I can't help but feeling alone. The schoolwork is frustrating because it is all in French, of course, and I feel like I've had all of it but have just forgotten so much. I need to dust off the cobwebs that formed in my head this summer. I think once I got the mentality of "hey, I'm finished with high school" I let some information slip. This year will definitely be good preparation for college, though. School is also socially very frustrating. Before school began, Paul, Cara, and I, talked about how we thought it was going to be so easy to meet people and make friends because at our schools people are always interested in the exchange student. We always love to get to know the foreign kids and all the aspects of their cultures. Apparently this is not the French mentality. Instead, I've found myself with people who are not mean but are not friendly. I feel like everyone in my school has their own group of friends and isn't going to bother with taking time out to try and understand the girl that doesn't speak French. And no I'm not just socially awkward; Paul and Cara are feeling the exact same thing. However, we stay with the same class all day, every day for the entire year. I think this will help. Monday and Tuesday I felt very alone and frustrated, but today, I've felt a surge of happiness. The students in my class are all younger than me, and I think that's one of several reasons why it's a bit difficult. I know that it will be easier to make friends within my class when I know French too, and one girl gave me her phone number. There is a group that's been kinder to me than the others. But my surge of happiness today came from my realization that I have many friends, not necessarily in my class, but in my school. It's a big help to have Paul and Cara. The three of us get along so well. We all just click. Also, I have several French friends that have introduced me to more of their friends. In the hallways and during our breaks I get several bisous (the cheek kissing thing) that reminds me these people are here for me even if my class is still warming up to me. I think as I get more acquainted with the school, things will become easier too. I'm already learning my way around the buildings, and one boy in my class today showed me where to go without me having to ask him. This made me very happy. He actually took the initiative to show me where to go. It was very kind.
I think my host mom has some sixth sense that tells her when school was rough because Monday she was practically shoving tarte tropizienne at me and last night we had crepes for dinner. Oh how this food can soothe my soul. I think the long, hard days I had at school are bringing me closer to feeling at home here, though. I'm always happy to get back to what I know in Cavalaire and in my house after school. I very much look forward to spending my afternoon/nightly time conversing with my host parents. I already feel like I can comprehend more which helps my speaking too. I'm anxious to know what to say when I feel like saying something, and to understand people when they first speak. I know I still have more time for that to come, but hopefully it will start picking up even more within the next few weeks.
I am happy to be here, and even though right now I'm in a bit of a rough patch I know things will start looking up. In fact they already are. I've have such a good day today, and I don't feel like I'm alone. The routine of school is actually nice to have, and the schoolwork will only help me progress in learning French. In fact, I already find myself saying French words automatically in my thoughts. For example, today I was thinking about something with the word because, and all I could think was parce que. It actually took me time to remember the English word. Very exciting! And when I talk to family/friends at home I find myself wanting to interject with d'accord, ouai, c'est vrai. Yay, it's catching on! Ok well now I have to prendre une douche (haha don't worry that means take a shower) and look over some Spanish homework (that should be interesting). I'm sorry if this post was a little unorganized with my ramblings; it's late here. A plus tard.
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